After quite a long break due to the last Holiday Season, I am back again on my blog.
I hope -despite of Corona- you all had great Holidays and you could start the New Year with joy and hope for 2021 to be a much better year as the last one. Let’s leave 2020 behind us and let’s focus on 2021 and on the positive acpects that come along with it, like for instance the fact that we have several vaccinations world wide, against Corona!
This time I wanted to write about the fact that in my case, saying goodbye to dance was a long process and still is, actually.
The last month I have been dreaming about dance again a few times and it just makes me aware of how much this still is a part of me and of how this will probably be a part of me, for the rest of my life…the passion for dance inside of me will never go away, so it will be part of me, even if I will be a very old and I won’t be bale to walk anymore.
It will still be there, somehow, I guess.
What do you think, or what do you experience?
The point is not that this passion for dance is still there, but it is about what you do about it and how you cope with it, still being there.
At least that is what I think. How about you?
In my case I decided to make a clear cut and to go a completely different road by working in the airline industry. That felt right at that moment, 10 years ago. Sometimes though, I reconcider that choice and doubt whether it was the right decision or not.
Some friends of mine are still dancing or creating dance-pieces or they at least stayed in the theatre-business and I wonder how that would have been for me…to still be part of that theatre-world, eventhough it might be behind stage…from stage2wings, so to say 🙂
At the time that I decided to stop dancing it felt wrong to stay in the dance-and theatre-world. It felt like it would be going downhill after so many great years of performing.
Creating my own dance school or dance company was never an option for me, because I had seen the struggle and the tough financial survival of colleagues and friends that had chosen that road.
And working as an assistant-choreographer or rehearsal director would make it feel like it is much more of a second choice (after dance being the first choice), than choosing something completely different like the airline industry.
There is a very good friend of mine who after a long, long break of dance, is now rehearsing for a project that is organised by ex-creators and ex-employees of Dragone and Cirque Du Soleil.
She is actually learning and rehearsing how to fly and how to do air-acrobatics! I am truely happy for her and admire her determination, strength and physical power.
I got millions of butterflies in my stomach when I heard about that and actually wanted to do that too, so badly! I always wanted to work with the Dragone-Company and to do some air-acrobatics, but I never had the chance to do so.
But even if I would have had the chance to work on a project like that nowadays, it would just only prospone the problem that will somehow allways come up: as a dancer, at a certain point, you won’t be able to do the things anymore that you have done before so easily.
At the end it will be a struggle to keep the level that you have had through out the years and that’s exactly why I decided to do something comepletely different.
To avoid this horrible moment that I would realize that my dancing isn’t that pretty or that proffessional anymore, as it used to be.
What do you think about all this?
I would love to get some comments on the questions in this post.
I am just curious how other dancers/artists are coping with all this.
And at the end my blog lives from the exchange with others, so please feel free to comment, or to write me an e-mail.
Take care and stay safe and healthy,
Jeroen
Hi,
I’ve been there 25 years ago.
A dream of being a professional dancer, no job found, what do i want, knowing it was the only thing i did for 11 years.
After my must taken descision i didn’t want to be a frustaded teacher, seen them. Feeling like shit because my dream didn’t come true. I went for many jobs: housekeeping, working in a soapfabric. Well at that time i thought ehm not doing this for all of my life.
After a year i went back to school and already for 24 years im loving my job as a nurse, eldery care, and leading a team is my job for 23 years. It’s great doing something for someone, getting the smile.
Didn’t want to watch dance, do dance for several years because of the heartpane.
Since 5 years once a week i’m taking modern jazz classes, wauw that’s amazing lovin it, no pain just dancing!
Enyoing the music and working my old muscles.
Whatever you choise is stay close to yourself and to your heart.
Find something to give that’s what you have done for all of youre live!
Really good to read your blog!
And all the best finding the second best thing! Dance is en will always be in you.
Butterflies indeed, dear Jeroen, finding all these experiences in (your) writing.
Reconnecting with my dancer has been a theme leading me back to so many crazy and beautiful adventures for the past year. Professional dancing has never been replaced in the 10+ years that I quit, but I have found other beautiful ways to connect with that source.
I can highly recommend Taiko (japanese drumming) as it requires the same hyperfocus, dedication, sheer physical exertion (which, you have to admit, we looooove) and a high level of awareness.
That being said: I’ve decided to find my way back to the studio. I’ve also decided not to care as much about the results as I used to, but to focus on the experience….you know, just as an experiment, because let’s be fair: I’ll be mad if I can’t make AT LEAST two turns.
Dancing will never leave my system, and I wouldn’t want it to: I still derive many lessons from all the exploring it took to get to where we were, being kick ass performers. And I am lucky to be able to use those lessons in the life I live now.
What we used to do, has given us so many advantages. Not only physically, but also mentally and spiritually. Our approach to learning and even un-learning (like insanely high expectations or pain being normal) will never be mainstream.
That’s a treasure.
Love to read more, keep it coming!
I’m actually a better dancer in my forties than I was in my twenties. I’m more experienced, feel sexier than ever before, and feel my emotions instead of thinking about “pointing my foot.” Of course no more grand jete or high impact for me, but I can totally accept that. I appreciate my body and what it can still do at my age amazes me. If you had told me that 20 years ago, I would never have believed it. I also love teaching and creating. Not being the frustrated teacher we all had to deal with! I will never again let anyone tell me that I can’t do it or won’t make it. I have too many supporters now. But please keep writing your thoughts and ideas! It’s really inspiring. And I feel very connected. Many thanks! Xxx Dancer Anne